another friday agn. but.. CAs are over! heheh. todaes e enrolment parade rehearsal. played wif e dril cane e whole day. nth much today. jus felt dat ive gotta v big fluctuation in mi feelings today. lols. only fd n e rehearsal todae. so sorry towards e sec2s. scolded dem so much today. haiis. jus cant control my own temper. not enuf patience. hais. im so sorry.
im tired. so tired dat ive lost mi patience and bcame frustrated. held mi expectations too high and dint teach u all well enuf. i dint do a good job. only screaming shouting ard. but, did u all do ur best? i hope its yes. i really hope so. its okay as long as u all did ur best. otherwise all our efforts are like gone to waste? sometimes, i rather i cld be bac as cadet. hah. thinking bac, all of us were lyk hoping and hoping to hav ROD sooner the better. and not kana 'tortured' . hah. it feels better to get to noe u alwaes hav someone above u. lyk wad we had bac at sec2.i wld rather be the one doing e fd. trgn ppl is so hard. SO HARD. seriously, i tink i dun really noe how to train dem. wad shld we do? its nt as easy as it seems. i alwaes tot it was so nice to jus giv commands and scold here and der. or issit i am nt as capable? i felt lyk we cant really take care of our jnrs. sj doesnt seem as disciplined now. issit us whom made it worse?